"Donkey Kong Jr." - NES/Famicom

I'm writing two of these posts in one night because I'm a maniac. And because this idea is still fresh to me and I haven't abandoned it yet because of my crippling ADHD. So far, so good.

Keep up the strong support, my 0 readers... and me-- keep it up, me. Good job.

You're my best friend, me. Why haven't we dated? You wanna fool around sometime and try it out, message me. No pressure.

----- Introduction -----

As you might recall from my Donkey Kong review, which you obviously read, the Family Computer released in 1983 on the back-end of Nintendo's success in the arcades. And back in 1982, Donkey Kong Jr. released on the back-end of Nintendo's success with Donkey Kong.

People loved playing as Jumpman and taking on Donkey Kong so much that Nintendo decided that there was call for a Donkey Kong 2. Except this time, instead of playing as the cool chad Jumpman, you'd be playing as Donkey's Kong's nerdy diaper-wearing son, the virgin Donkey Kong Jr. (nice name, stupid idiot, haha-- got him).

I used to hate this game as a kid, and honestly, I couldn't tell you why. I think it's because it was really hard and Donkey Kong Jr. himself looks so stupid I didn't want to play as him.

ME CLIMB VINES OOK OOK--
lame baby-lookin'-ass dumb-ass monkey

But anyway, I'm a grown up now, and with being a grown up comes judging games based on how fun they are instead of how cool their protagonist looks. Also judging games based on how many fart jokes are in them, because that's quality content. That's why Final Fantasy VII isn't any good as an adult, it ranks poorly on both scales.

----- Playthrough -----

Donkey Kong Jr. starts out in a similar way to Donkey Kong, which makes sense since it was marketed as a sequel.

There's a bad guy in the top left (looks like your goal), and you're in the bottom left. Pressing left and right moves you, the A button jumps, and if you jump you'll find out quickly you can climb on the vines positioned near you. There's a small element of strategy that becomes quickly apparent: DK Jr. can climb up fast while holding two vines, and slide down fast while holding one.

He's so stupid and ugly he can't climb the same speed both ways, he can only do it in this one particular way. Get used to it.

This was about as far as I ever got as a kid.

Throughout the game, DK Jr. faces a variety of vine climbing and jumping related challenges. In the second stage, he faces birds dropping eggs from above and moving platforms: 

Imagine the platforms are moving and that you want to stab yourself to death over it for the full experience.

In the third stage, a bunch of electric balls running around on... I dunno, wires, or something (?):

Level 1: Jungle.
Level 2: Jungle.
Level 3: Neon Tube Light World

And then, when you complete those levels, you enter into what is arguably the most fun and rewarding feeling stage of the game, directly saving Cool Daddy Monkey, Donkey Kong from Evil Animal Kidnapper, Mario. In this more creative stage, you have to move each of 6 keys to the top of the level to unlock Donkey's cage. Meanwhile, birds and chompy bad guys move vertically and horizontally on the stage.

Mario's creative lock mechanism is conveniently only openable by vine climbing monkeys with DK Jr.'s exact arm span.

Once all the keys are in place, the cage opens, Donkey Kong is set free into the arms of his weirdly strong son (who catches him with complete ease) and Mario falls to his immediate death, never to be seen in a video-game ever again. A tragic end for our beloved hero of Donkey Kong.

He could have had such a bright future.

----- Review -----

Intuitive Design: Yes

How easy is it to intuitively understand the game?

Walk left and right with the d-pad. Easy.
Jump with A. Easy.
Climb vines by pressing up and down. Easy.
Bad guy in the top left. Simple.

Satisfaction: Yes

How rewarding does playing the game feel?

Donkey Kong Jr. does a solid job, like its predecessor, of quickly rewarding good play. The various fruits in the stage can be touched to cause them to fall, smashing the various enemies of the game with a satisfying pause, bleep, and flicker. Jumping over enemies is rewarded since it's slightly more difficult. The game is difficult enough to be rewarding to play.

Game Depth: Shallow

How deep is the gameplay?

Though more complicated than Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr. remains a port of an arcade game. The controls are simple, and the concept is simple. This is perfectly fine, as long as you know what to expect and aren't expecting to play it for hours.

Sound Design: Minimal, Fine

How's the sound?

More bleeps and bloops like Donkey Kong. Mario's annoying squeaky walk from Donkey Kong returns as a squeaky vine climb sound. Jr.'s walk has a fun bass womp-womp sound. The background music is a little more complicated than the short pattern from Donkey Kong, but still barely music.

Graphics: Fine

How's it look?

Everything here looks very serviceable. Enemies are recognizable as various animals. Donkey Kong Jr.'s stupid face is easy to see and has various expressions. Contrast is used well to make the levels, enemies, and items pop out. At the same time, it ain't gonna knock your socks off.

Personal Chord: No

Does the game have that undefinable "something" for me?

The game is fun, but nothing about it really jumps out at me as nostalgic or fitting with my aesthetic. It's a good, solid arcade port. I like it insofar as it's an 80s Nintendo arcade game, and it looks and feels like one. It's polished and nice, but I don't want to wear it on a t-shirt.

Play or Cray: Play

Should you waste your precious time?

Donkey Kong Jr. is good fun. There's plenty to like here. You'll probably only play a few rounds of it before getting bored, but it'll take you a few tries to master the game enough to see the last stage. Have fun with it while it lasts.

-----

He's saved, but Donkey Kong still hasn't gotten over his depression from the first game.