"Donkey Kong 3" - NES/Famicom

----- Introduction -----

To be honest I've always been kind of confused how this game was what came from a desire to make a "Donkey Kong 3," even as a kid. I don't know how they got from the relatively similar ideas of Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. to whatever this is, but anyway--

According to Wikipedia, this game incorporates ideas from Nintendo's earlier arcade game, Space Firebird, but I have to say I don't really see it. I will say though, that Donkey Kong 3 feels more like a shooter than a platformer-style game, so in that capacity, sure.

Maybe Donkey's flying one of the space-ships.

Anyway, Donkey Kong 3 was developed by Miyamoto as with DK and DK Jr., and our new friend Chip Tanaka makes his return to do some of the music for this one. I'm glad he did, because the squeaky-squooky sounds from the previous two games really needed to go, and the catchy short music bits are very welcome changes.

Another thing that's gone from this game is Mario/Jumpman. Instead you play a guy named... Stanley. Stanley the bugman. 

He looks a little out of his element.

The NES manual doesn't really say what's going on here, but Wikipedia says Donkey Kong has taken up refuge in Stanley's greenhouse, so he has to remove him by spraying him up the butt with bug spray.

I mean, it doesn't say that part, but that's what you do in the game.

So anyway, let's get Donkey wet.

... why are his nipples so close to the middle of his chest?

----- Playing the Game -----

As with a lot of these early NES games, there's a couple game modes to try out (perhaps a desire to keep that standard from the Atari 2600?). I started with Game A, which seems like the logical thing to do.

The game starts out with a short animation where Donkey Kong slaps some beehives around to piss off the bees and make 'em come attack you. It's unclear why they don't attack Donkey, since he's right there next to them, but I guess that wouldn't make for a very fun game.

Stanley's job is to juggle the task of spraying Donkey in the butt to make him climb up the vines (presumably going "ooh, so cold!" with every hit) and at the same time keep the bees and various other insects from swooping down and carrying off his five plants.

It's not a very filled out greenhouse, but this is Stanley's passion, alright?

The only other consideration is that from time to time, Donkey will knock off the spray bottle with the "R" (or maybe "A") on it, which if you pick it up, gives you the "super spray" ability. Essentially that amounts to your spray having a longer range and turning orange, as well as pushing Donkey further up with each blast.

Oh, and sometimes Donkey Kong will randomly pull a brown orb out of nowhere and throw it at you. The manual says it's a coconut, but I don't know where he's getting a coconut in Stanley's greenhouse, and to be frank I'm afraid to ask.

I think there are three levels in this game, and they rotate in a weird order, presumably to keep things interesting (I guess Nintendo felt that the repeating level order in Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. was a failing move). The second level has some vines going across the center of the screen, and the catch here is these worm fellas that will come out and get in-between you and Donkey. If you blast them, they don't die, they just freeze in place, blocking you and giving Donkey more time to climb down.

They're also extremely grumpy for some reason.

Another enemy type of note is the "Queen Bee," which is a fatter bee that has some small bees around it. Shoot her a couple times to make her explode and shoot bullets at you, which is difficult to dodge if you don't already know that there's an open space that's always directly underneath.

You pretty much continue in all these patterns until you eventually die, like any arcade-style game, and also real life.

Once I died, I gave a try to Game B, but I really couldn't see any difference. In the manual, it's simply labeled as "expert mode," though I really couldn't see a change in difficulty. I guess I didn't get far enough. It did seem like Donkey was a little harder to push up the vine.

Anyway, I eventually lost that futile battle too. A little faster too, so something must have been harder after all. And it wasn't me.

'tis better to have blasted dat gorilla ass and died than to never have blasted dat gorilla ass at all.

----- Review -----

Spitting Rage: A little, but not bad

Does the game make you want to tear your own organs out of your body?

The patterns of the insects can be frustrating. They are clearly designed to mess with you from multiple angles, or shoot projectiles, etc, which is actually cool, and challenging-- but at least as a beginner it can be hard to predict what they're going to do. It's more of a matter of exposure and memorization than reflexes or good play, at least at first.

Intuitive Design: Good

How easy is it to intuitively understand the game?

If you fiddle with the controls for a couple seconds, you'll understand what needs to be done, I assure you.

Satisfying Gameplay: Okay

How rewarding does playing the game feel?

It takes a LOT of shots to push Donkey up that vine, and something about it makes you feel really impotent as a player. The bugs react pretty instantly to being shot, and in general the game is challenging enough to be fun, but Stanley feels weak to me because of that. However, that weakness enhances the contrasting strength you feel when you get the super spray, and maybe that was the point.

Game Depth: Shallow

How deep/long is the game?

It's just a little shooting game straight from the arcade. Don't expect to form a long term relationship with it and you'll be okay-- it's more of a one night stand.

Sound Design: A little better than fine

How's the sound?

Chip Tanaka created some more interesting tunes for this one. The arcade soundtrack sounds a lot better this time around, but the NES one is still good. The sound of the spray and the "Flight of the Bumblebee"-esque sound of the bees coming down is pretty much serviceable. I definitely prefer this overall to Donkey Kong's annoying soundscape.

Graphics: Good

How's it look?

The arcade game looks significantly better this time, but this still looks pretty good for an NES game I think. The art style is congruent with the original Donkey Kong games, but with a much-appreciated year-later face-lift. Donkey Kong himself is much more expressive in general, and the levels definitely look more detailed than the ones from the other two.

You can really see the depths of his depression, now.

Personal Chord: Close...

Does the game have that undefinable "something" for me?

I played this one a fair bit as a kid, but I didn't really like it then-- I think it was too hard for me. I think Donkey Kong himself is a lot more interesting in this one with his various facial expressions and animations, and the game is just a lot more expressive in general...

I just don't love it, and I can't explain why exactly, but I guess that's why the description of this category is so vague-- I don't know what makes this happen anyway, other than clicking with my aesthetic sense, and my poor man's intuition of what makes a game fun.

Play or Don't: Yes (the first one)

Should you waste your precious time?

Donkey Kong 3 is a definite improvement over the other two Donkey Kong games on NES. If you can, play the arcade version, but the NES version is fun and serviceable too. I think it stands up well on its own without comparing it to the arcade version. It's fun.

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