"Hogan's Alley" - NES/Famicom

----- Introduction -----

[Japanese announcer voice]: Ho-ogaanzu Arii!

I just like saying it like that, sorry.

I think this is the last of our "Beam Gun" games for awhile-- by the way, why did they even call it a beam gun in Japan when it's clearly just a revolver? The NES Zapper looks like it could be a beam gun, but not the Famicom one.

'This here's one'a them Star Wars guns."

I've always wondered why this game was called Hogan's Alley as a kid, and who Hogan was. I always assumed it was the guy with the tommy gun, for some reason.

Look, I dunno, he looks like a Hogan to me.

It turns out Hogan's Alley was the name of a shooting range at Camp Perry, a National Guard training facility. Who knew! I wonder if they also used to shoot at moving cardboard cutouts of purse-lady and old-guy-who-looks-suspicious-but-is-actually-a-civilian.

This game was designed by Nintendo's R&D1, but more exciting, the little bits of music were composed by Hirokazu Tanaka-- the man responsible for a lot of great NES/Famicom soundtracks. He did Kid Icarus, and that game's getting a definite good on sound when I get to it. He's credited with creating the concept of the chiptune, and affectionately known as "Chip Tanaka" these days.

Anyway, let's play the game.

The famed Hogan's Alley C has been forever lost to time.

----- Playing the Game -----

You'll be pleased to know that some things in the universe are a stable constant, unlike your wreck of a life. One of those things that remains constant are that Famicom 'Beam Gun' games have Game A, Game B, and Game C.

Game A is simple enough, you're in a shooting range with three cardboard cutout targets that scroll on-screen sideways. They turn to face you, and you're given a limited amount of time to make your decision and shoot everyone who looks threatening.

Shoot him! He's threatening my mental health with his depressing face!

This game gets old pretty fast and doesn't really change much, so you'll quickly find yourself moving onto Game B.

You'll be displeased to know that some things in the universe are an unstable non-constant, and one of those things is that Famicom 'Beam Gun' titles don't always have a Game B that's just shooting two of whatever you were shooting one of before.

In this case, Game B is much more entertaining than Game A, featuring a line of shooting galleries that your character automatically walks between, wherein the cardboard cutouts walk up to windows and turn towards you, and you have a few moments to decide whether to shoot or not shoot.

Miss!? He's brandishing a weapon at me! Wait-- did I just accidentally create political satire...?

... that joke's gonna get me in trouble.

Anyway, Game C is of a more harmless sort (unless you're a can of beans), which I like to believe they actually did on the real Hogan's Alley-- shooting cans through the air to make them land on various platforms. This one's definitely the toughest of the game modes and gave me a lot of trouble as a kid, but I remember my brother and I playing it a fair bit together.

The lower on the wall the cans go in the slot, the more points you get. You shoot them to bounce them once. That's pretty much the whole game mode.

This is actually just how they stocked the pantry at Hogan's Alley in real life.

----- Review -----

Spitting Rage: You good

Does the game make you want to tear your own organs out of your body?

I'm noticing a running theme that it's pretty hard to be mad at the light gun games. They're just fun. I guess it's not like I'm trying my heart out here to get to some ending either though. Repetitive arcade style games are chill like that.

Intuitive Design: Good

How easy is it to intuitively understand the game?

Light gun games get an automatic pass in this score, pretty much.

Satisfying Gameplay: Good

How rewarding does playing the game feel?

All three game modes are pretty fun and the game reacts nicely to the shots. It's cool when you get the BTHT sound when you get a good shot and see the spinning target, and the TINK sound when you shoot the cans is rewarding too. It's fun.

Game Depth: Shallow

How deep/long is the game?

This is the other rating light gun games always get. It's just shooting stuff.

Sound Design: Good

How's the sound?

Chip Tanaka's tunes are light and fun as expected! The sounds of the shots are rewarding and nice as discussed. All around, very serviceable and well done I think.

Graphics: Good

How's it look?

Another gun game, another set of attractive, large sprites (by NES standards). I assume it also helps that they need to be large enough to easily shoot at, which makes them cover more screen space by necessity.

Personal Chord: Sure

Does the game have that undefinable "something" for me?

Like I said, I played this game at least a good bit when I was a kid. I think it's pretty fun. It's got a cool vibe to it, especially the music.

Play or Don't: Give 'er a try

Should you waste your precious time?

It's pretty easy to recommend anything you can try in 15 minutes and be done with. As we get into the longer, more complicated games, it will be harder, but right now it's all short stuff made by Nintendo. You have little to lose, not even time wise.

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