"Kung Fu" - NES/Famicom
AKA - Spartan X
Aw hell yeah, this is my FAVORITE Famicom game in the release list so far. Sorry to come in all pre-warmed up like this, but I already know I like this game, so there you go.
But let's take this time to learn together, like we always do, me and you. Why the heck is this game called Spartan X in Japan? First of all, that's a much cooler title, but second of all, what the heck?
Well, it turns out there was a Jackie Chan movie that came out around the same time, also called "Spartan X," and the game title was changed to make the game release a tie in to the movie. The movie came out in the US as "Wheels on Meals," which I think we can all agree is about the worst case of downgraded localized title for something, basically ever.
Anyway, the game originally came out in late 1984 in the arcades, and it was ported to Famicom in late 1985, which is the version we're getting to play. The game was originally developed by Irem (whom I only know for developing Sqoon on the Famicom, but more on that later...), but this version was developed by Nintendo R&D 1, and designed by Shigeru Miyamoto as a result.
Wow! The Official Nintendo Experience! So how did they do?
But let's take this time to learn together, like we always do, me and you. Why the heck is this game called Spartan X in Japan? First of all, that's a much cooler title, but second of all, what the heck?
Well, it turns out there was a Jackie Chan movie that came out around the same time, also called "Spartan X," and the game title was changed to make the game release a tie in to the movie. The movie came out in the US as "Wheels on Meals," which I think we can all agree is about the worst case of downgraded localized title for something, basically ever.
Anyway, the game originally came out in late 1984 in the arcades, and it was ported to Famicom in late 1985, which is the version we're getting to play. The game was originally developed by Irem (whom I only know for developing Sqoon on the Famicom, but more on that later...), but this version was developed by Nintendo R&D 1, and designed by Shigeru Miyamoto as a result.
Wow! The Official Nintendo Experience! So how did they do?
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| The title screen certainly got upgraded during the localization... |
----- Playthrough -----
As was the fad, Kung Fu comes with two game modes, for two players: Game A, and Game B. As you might have guessed, Game A is easy, and Game B is hard-- that's the other pattern that we're seeing emerge here, lately.
The main idea behind Kung Fu, as you might also be able to guess, is that you have to punch lots of man.
And generally you want to punch man before man punch you.
You start at the bottom of Mr. X's tower, and your goal is to climb the 5 floors up to Mr. X himself and punch him too, until he's dead. Or knocked out, if you prefer. The reason is that he kidnapped Thomas' (yes the kung fu master is named Thomas) girlfriend, Sylvia, and she's not good enough at kung fu to just punch man herself, so you have to do it for her. She really should have practiced the game a little more.
For the most part you'll be swarmed from both directions by Mr. X's cronies, which come in three main varieties: guy who looks like you but purple, tiny guy who is green and brown, and guy who throws knives.
The levels are divided into sections, 1-6, and--
What? What do you mean you played it and the levels aren't in sections? Yes they are!
In stages that move to the right, you will face some sort of trap for areas 1-4. In stage 2, that's in the form of pots that fall from the ceiling, and in stage 4, it's bugs that come out of holes in the walls and come at you.
And when you reach part 6 of each stage, you'll fight some sort of boss for that level. These are all different and require (slightly) different strategies. Once you finally find your way up to the top floor, on that 6th part, you'll get to have your showdown with Mr. X! The other kung fu master! You can tell he's just as good as you because he dresses just like you! And he has better hair!
Once you beat his butt down to the ground, you'll have a loving reunion with your dead weight girlfriend who couldn't be bothered to even try to escape. She's literally just standing there.
Also, presumably, Mr. X is not so good with people and defaulted to kidnapping Thomas' girlfriend as a way of getting him to fight, instead of just politely asking him for a sparring match.
The main idea behind Kung Fu, as you might also be able to guess, is that you have to punch lots of man.
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| POW! |
And generally you want to punch man before man punch you.
You start at the bottom of Mr. X's tower, and your goal is to climb the 5 floors up to Mr. X himself and punch him too, until he's dead. Or knocked out, if you prefer. The reason is that he kidnapped Thomas' (yes the kung fu master is named Thomas) girlfriend, Sylvia, and she's not good enough at kung fu to just punch man herself, so you have to do it for her. She really should have practiced the game a little more.
For the most part you'll be swarmed from both directions by Mr. X's cronies, which come in three main varieties: guy who looks like you but purple, tiny guy who is green and brown, and guy who throws knives.
 |
| It was at that moment that purple man questioned if friendly fire was on in this game. |
The levels are divided into sections, 1-6, and--
What? What do you mean you played it and the levels aren't in sections? Yes they are!
 |
| You just didn't know 'cause you can't read hieroglyphics. |
In stages that move to the right, you will face some sort of trap for areas 1-4. In stage 2, that's in the form of pots that fall from the ceiling, and in stage 4, it's bugs that come out of holes in the walls and come at you.
 |
| Little known fact: bees hate kung fu. |
And when you reach part 6 of each stage, you'll fight some sort of boss for that level. These are all different and require (slightly) different strategies. Once you finally find your way up to the top floor, on that 6th part, you'll get to have your showdown with Mr. X! The other kung fu master! You can tell he's just as good as you because he dresses just like you! And he has better hair!
 |
| God, look at his powerful stance. What a chad. Why can't I be more like Mr. X? |
Once you beat his butt down to the ground, you'll have a loving reunion with your dead weight girlfriend who couldn't be bothered to even try to escape. She's literally just standing there.
Also, presumably, Mr. X is not so good with people and defaulted to kidnapping Thomas' girlfriend as a way of getting him to fight, instead of just politely asking him for a sparring match.
 |
| Just as Thomas remembers that he has to go back to being a boyfriend instead of living to punch guys. |
----- Review -----
Innovation:
Does the game show anything not yet seen on this system/ever before?
Hold on while I go back and look at everything I've reviewed so far.
Yeah, I'm fairly sure this is the first "beat 'em up" type game we've seen on the NES. Also the last one for awhile. We did have Urban Champion, but honestly I think I'd argue that's almost more of a fighting game than a beat 'em up. Same with Yie Ar Kung Fu.
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Hold on while I go back and look at everything I've reviewed so far.
Yeah, I'm fairly sure this is the first "beat 'em up" type game we've seen on the NES. Also the last one for awhile. We did have Urban Champion, but honestly I think I'd argue that's almost more of a fighting game than a beat 'em up. Same with Yie Ar Kung Fu.
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Intuitive Design:
How easy is it to intuitively understand the game?
If you can't understand how to play this game I'm genuinely worried for you. I know that you can do it, you just press A to punch, B to kick, and the d-pad to move. You should also be able to guess that the game wants you to walk in the direction it starts you out facing.
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Gameplay / Difficulty:
How rewarding does playing the game feel?
Punching guys is awesome. The bosses all require different strategies (mostly), and timing things to make sure you don't get surrounded is fun and exciting (for a Famicom game). It's cool when you're getting surrounded on both sides and you quickly are able to extract yourself from the situation with some hits in both directions. It makes you feel like a real Kung Fu Master.
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| Or a Spartan... X. |
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Depth:
How deep/long is the game?
There's only 5 levels and all you can really do is punch and kick, so not really that depthy, but it sure is fun. I'm not really sure how they could have improved this except for more levels or more moves... did I mention there's a Spartan X 2? I've never played it, though.
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Design:
How's the sound? How are the graphics?
I like the design of the characters, they're pretty classic Miyamoto stuff as we've seen so far. The level backdrops don't look bad either, though I've never been sure if you're walking on something and the sky is in the background, or if you're inside and there's just a blue wallpaper. You can see the roof below though...
The sound is fine, and even includes what sound like some voice samples? Pretty neat for the Famicom, but not mind-blowing. All in all, nothing too annoying sounding here. Except maybe that wizard laugh.
The sound is fine, and even includes what sound like some voice samples? Pretty neat for the Famicom, but not mind-blowing. All in all, nothing too annoying sounding here. Except maybe that wizard laugh.
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Personal Chord:
Does the game have that undefinable "something" for me?
Yeah, this is one I'd wear on a t-shirt. I think that might be the first time I've said that outright since Devil World but this game is one of my adult Famicom favorites for sure.
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Should You Play:
Is there a reason to even bother with this one?
Yes! I think so. I mean, look, it's not the best beat 'em up game, and it's relatively simple as a concept, but this is classic Famicom stuff right here. This is Super Mario Bros. level class Famicom stuff to me. It may just start a boring guy named Thomas, and maybe there's no characters worth remembering, and maybe it doesn't have the most variation--...
Look, it's just fun, alright? I think it's good. This is an easy yes for me.
STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!
Look, it's just fun, alright? I think it's good. This is an easy yes for me.
STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!
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